The Way Things Are

I am so tired.

I want to write and paint and knit and read more and explore with my camera. I have nine hours before I have to rise again and get ready for work. I've work at this job since 1987 and I feel so burned out. My sense of responsibility keeps me going but I am so tired.

Don't get me wrong. I like my job. I like the people I work with and I very much like the students, but after nearly 20 years I am starting to feel very burned out. I am so tired.

Six years ago when the creative part of me started clawing its way out of its hiding place in the safe corner of my heart, I never imagined that I would get to a point that the only thing I wanted to be doing was writing, painting, collaging, taking pictures, and just plain creating. Now I feel that the daytime hours are stolen hours. I get home and the dishes stay in the sink, laundry waits, the clutter of daily life grows. The weekend arrives and I have two days to do all the things I did not do during the week and inbetween I fit in my mom, take her out, spend time with her. I am so tired.

Fit her IN???? That sounds terrible. She isn't a duty. She isn't a burden. She's my mom. I don't have the Monday through Friday "stolen hours" to share with her. So, I try to come up with new and original ways to bring some joy into her life. That is something I will never tire of.

I'm far enough away from the spring break of just a couple of weeks ago that now I'm really starting to feel the burn out again. I am so tired.

Photo Credit to Becky in Vancouover.