Thank you. Thank you all.

Blog of the Day Awards for Wednesday August 30, 2006

Today's Blog of the Day Award goes to Annieelf for Scenes from a slow-moving train who lives her life through simple things and lets us know about them in her writing and her photography. There was lots of support for Annie on her nomination and she beat out quite a few fast-moving trains.

I am so grateful for all the support you all gave me. Many hugs to Autrice for showing me the way to this wonderful site. I hope you will all participate by simply nominating someone for this award as well. The nomination alone is a total day brightener for its sheer unexpectedness.

A Roller Coaster Life

Life has been a roller coaster lately and I find myself in hiding again as I wrestle with the twin antagonists of guilt and anger. This morning at work, totally tired out and tired OF it, I started writing "Guilt and Anger Take A Vacation". Stay tuned.

More fun from the Muse of Steubenville

http://bemusedmused.blogspot.com/2006/08/pluto-cold-icy-thing.html

If you enjoyed Toni's take on airport security, you will get a kick out of her take on Pluto's demise as a planet.

One Deep Breath - The Sound of Music

Mom hasn't liked having her picture taken for a long time now. Like a grand Diva, there is always a good side for the camera and in this case, the Diva is entirely right. Shooting mom from her right is the only way to guarantee a decent picture and even then it's pure luck.

Here she is just a short while before her fall early in July. Rather than attach this haiku to any picture I could take of her now, I prefer to share her beauty as it was just a short time ago. Any picture I take of her now shows only the strain and distress and deep sadness that rules her.

I chose this picture because just a few days ago I learned that she was watching "The Sound of Music" on the television her roommate has set up so that they both can see it. Margie told me that mom was so happy and was singing all the songs. I like to think that she looked and felt like this for at least a short time.

I wish I had seen her, secretly, like that.

Bird's nest

Treasures can be found in the most unexpected places. Though a bird's nest is typically found in a tree, I don't always look for them in small trees and fairly low to the ground. But one day last week while visiting my mom at the nursing center, I was distracted from my visiting when I glimpsed a cluster of twigs in the lower branches of a tree that was only, at it's highest, ten feet. It didn't take long to determine that it was unoccupied; a film of webbing floated over top of the nest like its own private tule fog shroud. As I moved in to take pictures, I took care not to disturb the nest. Doves return year after year to the same nest. Five years of observing dove nesting in my own backyard has taught me that any change to a favorite nesting place can send the birds in search of a new home.

I'm a nester. I hate change. In a perfect world I would have been born in, grown up, and remained in one place. My perfect world would have had me travelling everywhere but always having that same, safe harbor to return to. As I approach retirement, I ask myself where and when I will find that perfect world. I'm still looking for it because my real life has been a series of moves - state to state, town to town, home to home, school to school, and job to job. My life has been more or less stable for the past 18 years, but the children have now graduated, they are making their own lives and planning their future families. And I find myself thinking forward to the time when I, with Don, can finally find that perfect place, a place where mountains meet the sea.

But there is a shroud over my life; an inhibitor which may keep me from making that final move until eventually it may feel too late. And that is when I see another nest, this one perched on an exposed windowsill of an old rock building. Is that me hovering on the brink? Will I find my way to fly from the aridity of this valley? Will I find that place where mountain meets sea, the water for me the mountains for Don?

For a while, it was money that concerned me. It is the eternal question. Will I have enough? Will the debt be diminished and manageable by retirement? But lately I've been thinking more about time. Will there be enough time to finally get to that perfect world? Watching my mother's slow declines tells me that anything can happen to me or to Don at any time. Our lives could change with a swiftness that gives me wiplash just thinking about it.

So, I don't touch the nest and I stand poised on the brink. If that perfect world is out there waiting for us, we will find it and when the times comes I will leap for it and not worry about money, time, or imagined ties to this place I find myself in now.

.

One Deep Breath - Tea and Coffee

Morning strength to start
An afternoon pick me up
Soothing in evening

My best girl, behind the counter at Starbucks.

Kayaking with Alligators on the Hillsbourough River

I found this dreamy river sequence on Yahoo videos and it was free for sharing. I thought you might enjoy seeing it. It is my peaceful moment gift to all of you.
Annie

Hot August Nights

In our area we have an annual event called Hot August Nights. They are all almost uniformly devoted to antique car shows. I had the pleasure of viewing one of the mini-events last night at the nursing center where mom currently is staying. Click

http://hotaugustnights.shutterfly.com/action/?a=0AZs2zdy4csmLjA&notag=1

for some fun pictures. Suffice it to say, the more mobile of the old folks got a big kick slowly going through the parking lot and admiring the elegant vehicles. There was a band, the usual picnic foods, free popcorn, and lots of merriment.

Flying Restrictions - One Woman's Opinion

Toni at The Bemused Muse has some hysterical words to share about the latest round of flying restrictions. Prepare to have fun as you click the link below.

http://bemusedmused.blogspot.com/2006/08/my-rather-negative-view-of-new-airport.html

Last Spring when Quanah was studying in Rome, he met a group of students who all live in Brescia which is in northern Italy. They have become great friends of his and he has gone back there three or four times to visit. They have a website that I visit from time to time to keep up with the events of their lives. I was browsing there this morning when I found this startling picture that was no doubt taken by one of them. A picture like this absolutely cannot be planned. The double cross image amazed me and I post it here to share with all of you. Bravo for the lucky shot taken by one of Quanah's friends.

Sunday Scribble - an alternate thought of might have beens.

I was going through my San Francisco pictures again when I noticed something unusual about this one. I pointed my camera out of the car window and just clicked as we drove along. One of the pictures, above, was of two of the City's grand Victorian ladies. I must have looked at this picture several times when suddenly I blinked. They were the same design. Same entrance, same second floor windows, same gently curved bays. And then it hit me - the window on the right was different; it had been altered. The gentle ornate curves on the left should have been repeated on the right but there on the right I saw only one plain square window surrounded by square, unadorned walls.

I don't understand people. If one is lucky enough to own one of these great old houses, it stands to reason that one would want to preserve its stately beauty. I mean, wouldn't it? What drives a person to make a decision to slap a mid-century add-on to such a graceful structure? Is is lack of imagination, lack of money, lack of time, lack of caring? What? I'm baffled. The stark contrast is too much. I can hear the house on the left whispering "That could have been me". I can hear the house on the right weeping for its loss.

One Deep Breath - The Scenic Route

From Stock Exchange

My Life is winding

The curved road could surprise

But color is absent

No straight lines live here

Alas, the route is dusky

Flowers fade away

I'm disappointed

Typical. I'm neither nerdy nor hip. The glass is half full/the glass is half empty. Neither fish nor fowl. I think this explains why I can fade so easily into the background. **sigh**

Good News

I have happy news. Got a phone call from Quanah this morning. He went to Indiana this past Wednesday for a job interview. He called this morning to let us know that he was offered the job and he accepted. So finally, after a long summer of job searching, disappointments and frustrations, he has a happy ending. And reflecting back on all the other possibilities, this was actually the best opportunity. As usual, God was at work teaching us some lessons on patience and trust.

So, he returns here Saturday night and Monday afternoon he and his father and a U-Haul truck leave for the big move. Don't you just LOVE happy endings and happy landings??!!

I've started a second blog

Lately I've been reading quite a lot of Benedict XVI's writings. The main thing I've noticed is that as much as I loved John Paul II, I did not find him readable. Benedict, on the other hand, has captured my imagination and my mind. This blog is dedicated to posting his thoughts, news, sometimes my own reflections, and always, an invitation to dialog. I hope you will come by to visit from time to time.

One Deep Breath - Headlands Garden

Mountain pours to sea

Fragrances heady and sweet

Sands sift, softly sighs